11-25-12

     So, over the last couple of days the wife and I have been doing duel workouts. Works for me since I can't run right now. Damn IT band. It's ok though. I am still a bit upset about that IT band but I know now that I was trying to do to much too soon. When I have it feeling better I'll do some walking on the treadmill but I am going to stay away from walking til after Christmas I think. Meanwhile doing yoga and walk away the pounds I should still be able to keep losing weight. I have been doing pretty well keeping track of the calories and I have a weigh in due in the morning. Let's hope all that water I had to drink this morning it out of the system by morning. If not I may have gained a pound.
     So, like I said, tonight we did Yoga and then we did Walk Away the Pounds 2 mile. I have to be honest, the yoga that we have been doing didn't exactly get me ready for tonight. We were doing all kinds of things that we hadn't really done before. One really nice thing though is that there was some push ups and sit ups involved with the selection that we turned on. I guess there are 7 of them on the DVD and also there is a way to "matrix" a few workouts together. It has left me tired and a bit sore. Both are good things!
     The two mile walk was nice and after the yoga we did it was enough. I am thinking it's probably time to move up to the three mile walk though as I still had a little more to give after the two mile. That fact right there is pretty nice to be able to state. So, that's it then, the wife and I are going to move on to the three mile walk from here on unless we just are not feeling it.
     So it's about that time I guess. Motivation time. However, instead of pure motivation tonight I think I am just going to give myself a list to follow. While my main goal here is weight loss I need to remember that it's about an overall wellness so here goes my list.

1. Think wellness not weight loss. The way I need to look at it is that with wellness the weight loss will happen. Keep in mind why I am doing this. The wife, the kids, myself.
2. Set reasonable goals. While it would be nice to think that I can go from not doing anything to running a 5K in 9 weeks, I ended up hurting my body trying. 
3. Limit but do not eliminate. Sometimes you just need a slice or two of pizza or a burger from Mcdonalds and that is ok. Just don't fall into the trap of doing it every night and day.
4. Pace yourself. This gets back to the fact that I hurt myself already trying to take on too much too fast. When the IT band is better don't just start running again. Build to it and you will be fine.
5. Celebrate the small victories. You need to set very small goals for yourself every week. Set yourself up to succeed and not to fail.
6. Keep working out with the wife. It's good to have an accountability partner. Someone to tell you good job once and a while and someone to say, you know it's ok to stop if you need to. Let her be your voice of reason. You'll need this more and more with time.
7. Somehow, (still need to figure this one out) I need to shut off the negative self talk. I need to stop bashing on myself if something doesn't go the way that I want it to or think it should.
8. Learn to recognize how far you have come. This one can be very tough because it always seems to take a long time before you notice anything good about yourself.(me anyways) So if you get a complement from someone don't be so quick to let it go over your head. Hear what they are saying and realize that it's true.
9. This one is right up my ally. I need a theme song like Rocky had. I think it would be cool to have a song that I can listen to and it would cue my body to get ready to go. (I'll have to work on this one)
10. Think of how good it will feel when you are back in a size 34 pant. For too long you have been in a 38 knowing all to well that there is an issue there. Remember, smaller clothes sometimes cost less. That will be money that I won't mine spending.

     So, there is a list of things for me to keep in mind. I hope to hell if the need arises that I can look back on this list and say "oh, there it is right there, I am ok." 

11-23-12

     Happy day after Thanksgiving all. Hope you all made it out without hurting yourself. Me? Nope. I did exactly what I didn't want to do. Sure it's ok to give yourself a day off every now and again. What I did yesterday though...  well, I don't feel good about it. Anyways, it's over and I need to continue on. So as it's not even noon yet and I haven't worked out yet today I figure I need to think about what it is that makes me eat. There has to be some sort of trigger. If I can eat well on one day and completely over do it the next, that has to be on me right?
     Right now it's about 10 minutes to 12. I just checked on a few things and my stress level is though the roof. I can't focus on anything else (which is why I am writing) and I feel like I want to eat. I mean, I want to really eat. Ok. So, stress is obviously one of my triggers. Considering my job and a few other things, I think I am going to have to find a way to get over stress the most. I am normally a very calm person and it does take a lot for me to get my stress level up. The problem is that I'll hold it for far too long. I wish I knew why but I don't. I know that when my body can't take anymore my heart starts to pound, my body shakes, and it's really just anger at that point that I am trying to hold back. Yesterday, after I figured out my calorie count I was very mad. Very upset with myself. Almost to the point of tears. I love my wife, and I can't thank her enough for reminding me that it will be alright. The problem is that while I hear her my brain is busy bashing the rest of me. That creates more stress and then, guess what. I want to eat.
     I know the other thing that gets me is that when I am bored. I have been called Eeyore at times and it's something that I don't want to be. Sometimes, I feel that I might warrant that name but often times I think I am misunderstood because I am not an overly talkative. Some may also think of this as being bored. I don't like that I have taken to calling myself Eeyore but yes, sometimes it does fit. The bad part is that while I know it fits it's a way to talk down to myself. Whatever it is, I mostly get that way when I am bored or tired. When I feel like that, I want to eat.
     Nothing like being your own therapist eh?
     Anyways, I am not completely upset with myself. I am trying to find the bright side of things as of late. I really am. Even with the outside forces kicking me in the balls. Yesterday, at the in-laws, before we had our Thanksgiving meal my wife and her sisters decided to go for a walk. They asked me to go. I think I may have surprised them a little by saying yes. I know if Thanksgiving were just 3 weeks ago I would have. It would have been just another time that I wouldn't have felt like I could keep up, or I might feel embarrassed if I got out of breath during a walk. I couldn't have put myself though that. I would have again, excluded myself. However, not yesterday! Yesterday I said yes. One of my brothers-in-law came with us so we had our 5. We went for about a 20 minute walk and not one time did I start to get out of breath. Not one time did I feel tired or like I couldn't go as far as the others. I felt, good. I was hearing some of the others breathing a little hard as we walked against the wind. Not me. Not my wife. We could have kept going. Just Wednesday we had walked after a Thanksgiving lunch at my parents and we were both fine. (IT band aside) I must admit, I was kind of proud of myself at that moment. These are the things to keep me going. These little things that my brain will pick out of an entire day to motivate me.
     Enough for now, motivation time:
Look how far you have come in 3 weeks. While your not running a 5k yet you know in your heart you could walk it at a pretty good pace. This is the first time in a very long time that I allowed others not in my home to see me "exercise" and the fact that I did so is a very very large step for me. I hate feeling embarrassed.

11-19-12

     Day...whatever, I am going to start just using the date for the blog titles. I simply can't keep track of how many days I have been trying to get back in shape. Anyway, let's start off with what I have been doing. I have been hunting a lot. I have also been in a bit of pain. Ok, maybe a little more then a bit of pain. I guess the pain is coming from something called the I T band? I am pretty sure it has nothing to do with a computer but everything to do with the outside of my right hip. I am being told that it normally comes from an imbalance of upper leg muscles. Looking at my legs, my quads are very large and my hamstrings are good size but apparently not strong enough to balance out my upper legs. As a result, I have pain. The kind that almost brought tears to my eyes the other day when the wife was trying to stretch me out. It's doing a little better at this point. I can walk. It's not perfect by any means. We did yoga tonight and it was hurting some. Not just the hip area though but the lower back. I have to assume that they are connected.
     So this week is the first real challenge to my diet. Happy Thanksgiving everyone. To say I am a bit nervous is an understatement. I don't feel like I can run yet so I guess its going to be long walks on the treadmill this week. I also have more hunting to do. Deer camp is great for that. I'll be walking a lot there. Still, with this damn injury or tightness, whatever you want to call it, I just don't think I should be running. No problem. I'll just need to walk, walk, and walk some more.
     Motivation time... 

This is the third week or so of my diet and I am feeling it. I am tired and sore. All will be ok though. I know that things will feel that way until my body stops the revolt. I understand that I didn't get out of shape over night and thus will not get back into shape over night. I am not looking for a "quick fix" or anything. Put in the effort and you will be rewarded. Do not fall off the train because of the holidays!!!  This is important...  trust yourself, and if that fails, trust your wife. Being fat sucks and I am sick of it! That's why it's important. NIKE!!