12-15-12

     I didn't post last night. I wanted to but I got busy. Instead of spending bad time on the computer I put my time to good use. The wife and I made homemade sausage and it was a lot of fun. I would guess that we made over 3 yards of the stuff. I may even go crazy and post a couple of pictures of the sausage here to remind myself that while I have cut back on what I eat I have eliminated nothing.  Anyway, the reason why I did want to post last night was that I wanted to do a weight update. Drum roll please!!!!  25 pounds down! Awesome. Still not seeing it myself but a couple of others have and have mentioned it. So with 25 down it's time to really focus in on my over all goal. I had told my brother and sister-in-laws that I wanted to be 30 pounds by Christmas. Well, I have about 2 weeks to go. 2.5 pounds per week and I have got this so long as I am good and keep up with what I am doing.
    
     So that's my motivation at this point. I have to prove myself right about 30 pounds by Christmas. I have to show my family that when I put my mind to something I can do it. I am so very close. While I admit that I am a bit sore all the time at this point it's the good kind. The kind that I can get behind. The kind that reminds me during the day that I am doing something good for myself. I AM getting in shape.

-C

Meh, edited to show a picture of the homemade sausage.

12-11-12

     Well, here I sit, with an ice block on my ass trying to dull the pain of this damn IT band. Want a quick way to drop some weight? Chop off this freaking leg for all the pain it's giving me. Seriously, how can I train for a 5k run if I can't run? It's pretty frustrating to me. Honestly, come on body, give me a break here. I have done more for you this past month and a little bit then I have since I got out of high school. I am paying more attention to what I am putting in my face and I am trying to stay way away from the stuff I know isn't good for me. How have you rewarded me so far body? You have a literal pain in the ass, and you have stopped losing weight.

     The IT band issue, from everything I am reading on the net is mostly caused by a few things. First, my gate while running is probably to long causing an over stretching of the band over the entire time I am on the treadmill. Second, my hip flexors are probably a little on the weak side, and third, my hips are probably on the tight side. Okay, so I have identified the problems or at least the potential problems so it's a matter of fixing them. One article that I read said that using a 6 week strengthening program working on the hip muscles got rid of the pain and people were able to run again pain free. Sounds okay. 6 weeks from today. God damn it! During that 6 weeks I should be able to increase any flexibility issues that I have in my hips, so for that keep going with the yoga and do some special IT band stretches. As for the gate issue..  Damn it..  I have to wait, and wait, and wait, until I can run a bit on that damn treadmill so that I can record it from a couple of different angles and forward it on to an internet friend of the wife's who happens to be a PT. Damn it. Working so hard and for what. To wait. Seriously.

     As far as the wight loss goes. This morning, I weighed myself. I only post weight updates here once a week but I hop on the scale about every other day. It may be too much, it may be obsessive but damn it, I want to KNOW that I am going the right way. Well, this morning I got a slap in the face. I didn't lose anything since last week, in fact I had gained a pound. What the hell! (note to the wife, no, my body isn't in starvation mode) Back on the internet I went and what I found out was that my body is screwing with me and it's perfectly normal. This is something I knew could happen way in the back of my mind. I remember this from the hours of being in a gym. My body has gotten to the point where it now knows what I am doing and it is slowing everything down because it's not sure when it's going to get fuel again. This isn't starvation mode, not yet. This is normal when you get all fat and try and do something about it. From what I was reading today, this could have been the beginning of the dreaded "rubber band." Here is the cool thing, if you know what's happening then you know not to let it worry you as long as you don't gain back an excessive about of weight. One to two pounds if fairly normal and all you need to do to correct it is to mix up your routine a bit. In severe cases you may need to eat more often, the 5 or 6 times a day that you might have heard of in small quantities. I don't think I am to that point yet but if I change up my exercise routine a bit it should be enough to shock my body back into fat burning.

     What else should I toss in here today? Nothing. I think that's all I have in my brain tonight. 

     Motivation time..  Tonight I have very little. I got on the elliptical tonight for 25 minutes. I have an ice pack on my ass. I am sore and if I move just right I feel like I can collapse. Not much in the way of motivation tonight. Am I going to stop though? Nope. The old me is still in control. The me that sets a goal and will do just about anything to get there.

-C 

12-9-12

     Wow!, it's been a while since I have posted on here. Thought I would pop on and give an update. As of last week I am down 22 pounds and feeling pretty good. I still can't really see any changes in my body no matter how hard I look and that part is getting me depressed a bit. I would think that 22 pounds, I should start to see something by now. The biggest news from last week is that a friend of mine and his wife gave me an elliptical machine to use. I have never really liked them before, to be exact I was afraid of them, but last Wednesday night I got it home and I jumped on it for 35 minutes. I burned over 500 calories in that 35 minutes. That pretty much did me in there, I am hooked! I used it the next night too and here is what I found. My calves just don't like being on it two nights in a row. I had to put a heating pad on my calves after taking a night off from working out. Lesson learned. Don't use the elliptical two nights in a row. Or, perhaps, I can try doing it for less time. The thing is I think I need to do it for at least 25 or I have to do something else before or after I get on it. It's not as complete a workout I guess is what I am getting at. For example, tonight I got on the treadmill for the first time in a long time because of the IT band. I was on it for about 15 minutes I think. Maybe it was 20, I really don't remember now. Anyways, I could feel my IT band as I was on it getting tighter, then the wife and I switched, (she was on the elliptical) and I was fine, I went pretty hard for about 10 minutes. I pretty much just wanted to burn 150 calories on that as I had burned about 100 on the treadmill. After all that we came upstairs and did some yoga.
     So, my body has pretty much done it all today. Truth be told, I needed it. I have been feeling like I have been slipping a bit and loosing a bit of motivation due to not being able to see the changes. I think I have said it on here before but I don't exactly have the most positive of body images so even if others are telling me they can see it, the problem is that I don't. So, tonight I'll post some pictures that were taken of me last week. I'll just keep looking until I see something positive. I just hope it's soon. I really need it. I haven't talked to the wife about how bad I am feeling about all this yet though, I suppose, she will read it here. It's not something I am completely comfortable speaking of in person. Sometimes, this blog is a sounding board for me and that is just going to have to be ok.
     Last night was my company's Christmas party. I had a good time. The wife and I got to dress up all pretty like and go out without the kids and without any friends. It was pretty nice and there is a little part of me that can't wait for the kids to be older so we can do it a little more often.(not that I am in a hurry for them to grow up by any means) Anyways, at the party there was so really good food and I was a bit surprised at myself. Until last night I had eaten whatever was out but I would really try to control it and if it was too much I would really feel bad about it. Kind of like an addict getting caught doing what it was they were addicted to I would think. Not last night though. Last night I just dug in and filled myself up. I think I had more to eat in that meal then I did at either one of the Thanksgiving meals that I had. I did it and I didn't feel bad about it at all. This is a very slippery slop for me I think. I can't let it happen again. Everyone always says to me that it's ok once and a while, the problem is that if I let myself find comfort in food I may mess everything up that I have worked so hard to accomplish. Keep this in mind for the holidays Chris. It's important.

Picture time:

 

So this is how I am looking as of last week. I don't know. I don't really see anything different yet. I'll keep on working at it but I need something soon. Perhaps, I should have been using a measuring tape. Maybe then I would have seen something. Anything.

 

     Motivation time,

Don't be afraid to fail, be afraid to no have tried. Don't let the actions or words of others prevent you from reaching within yourself to find that little something that you are hanging on to. Don't allow yourself to not feel the guilt if you over eat. That guilt is your drive. It means that you are failing yourself. You will never be able to eat that way again. You need to know that you can eat anything but you have to keep it in moderation. Know that you can workout hard. You have proven that to yourself already. Make sure to understand though that some days are going to be better then others. Don't be afraid to take advantage of the good days and push it just a little bit harder.

12-2-12

First part of my goal is down as of this weekend. I have made it to 20 lbs lost. That is a pretty good feeling know that I have met one of my goals.

     Welp, I am dumb, I deleted the pictures that I did have here.. Oh well, moving right along.

 

 

     So this is me, 20 lbs lighter and feeling pretty good. I have been doing a lot of walk away the pounds and yoga. I have also been able to enjoy a good sauna from time to time over at the in-laws to help my muscles feel a bit better. I'll get on a bit later to add to this but I thought I would put these up so I can see if I can spot any changes.

Day 6 a little late..

     So last night I got a new treadmill. It looks pretty cool and I can't wait until tomorrow night when I will be running on it. Last night was good though. The wife and I did a 1 mile walk away the pounds and I started using the strength bands a little to try and help rebuild my shoulders. After that we did about 20-24 minutes of Yoga. I am still tight as hell but I know it will get better. My only problem with yoga is this. Any ladies that might stumble on this sorry, my only problem with yoga is my balls. They seem to always be in my way. I put my legs together, boom in the way, I do locust  and my balls and penis are mashed into the floor. Honestly, I know other guys do yoga..  but how?
     Anyways, Tonight is my night off from working out. Instead I get to go and play darts. It's a good game that takes an incredible about of focus. I like it.
     Motivation time.
     So far, I have lost 11 pounds and it is feeling pretty good. Keep it up Chris. You are doing exactly what you want to do. You have laid it all out on the line. You will/must succeed.



Side Note: I will say that I am hungry a lot of the time but I figure I am eating on most days about 2/3 the calories that I was so to take 1/3 away is a pretty big deal. I know it's for the better though.

1st full week of keeping track

Day 3-

     A quick note today, I need to stop writing books here. I mean, I want this to be a bit of a diary/journal for me that I am willing to put out there on the web but damn.. 20 minutes of typing is too much time for me to spend on my computer right now. Just don't wanna.
     Anyways, I did a weigh in tonight and have found that I have lost 6 pounds this week. Some of it may be water, I am willing to admit that but I think most of it is just keeping track of how much food I am putting in my mouth. So, yeah, 6 pounds and a lot more to go. I wonder, will I be able to see my body change or not? I spoke about my low self-esteem yesterday and I really don't want it to get in the way or make me go to far with the weight loss. I'll again, lean on the wife to help me to my conclusion. Did I mention that I am so damned lucky to have her?
     Well, for exercise tonight I did day two of C25K. Tonight, I did way better then the first night. I hit every mark to run and I didn't feel like I was going to die(as much).  The wife was again, at my side riding her bike and when we were done there she came upstairs and did a quick yoga while I took a shower. When I came out and she was almost done I thought that it would have been something cool for me to do as well so perhaps next time I will.
     Simple motivation time.
     I can do this. I have already begun the process. I have already lost 6 pounds without any bad things happening. I know I can do more! I will lose the weight I want to. I will go down in the size of my pants. I have to for my family.